This past weekend, I took part in a special retreat with a great group of women who all showed up to heal themselves from the traumas they experienced and to rid themselves of patterns that no longer serve them. These women have a desire to see who they really are without all the “energetic shit” on them, so they can enrich their lives and relationships. We know that relationships are not always easy. They require work and constant maintenance. The problem is that many times we are completely unaware of the parts of us that are messing up our relationships with others - and ourselves. Our patterns, behavior and reactions are the driving force behind each relationship, but what if some of the behavior we bring to these relationships isn’t conscious? What if we were born with them? There has been the age-old question - Is it nature or nurture? Were you born with certain characteristics or were you taught them?
In the world of Energy Healing, we are trained to look for “Ancestral Wounds and/or Energy” that effects the client. These frequencies are denser, as they connect you with your lineage, sometimes going as far back as 10 or more generations. Most indigenous cultures know that their ancestors play a vital, active part in their lives…they are aware of this ancestral energy. Are we? And this is not some esoteric energy stuff I’m talking to you about. Science backs this up with something called epigenetics. There's a lot of great information out there and I urge you to do your own research on the subject.
These women at the retreat were brave bitches, because this kind of work requires telling your ego to shut the fuck up, while taking a bright light into your shadow and really looking at it. I have a very dark shadow that follows me wherever I go and it goes by the name of Shame and it has always been with me. I actually remember being three years old and feeling shame for something I said. WTF does a toddler need to feel shame about!?! Right there, we know it’s ancestral. What are some of the lower vibrations that hide in your shadow that make no logical sense to you?
We can also recognize these frequencies by gently observing our families – which is not always easy, because some of us are so triggered by the very thing we’re looking for to heal ourselves! What distinct, behavioral patterns do you see in your family that give you some sort of discomfort? Oftentimes these lower, inherited frequencies show themselves when you look at the family as a whole or at the direct lineage like from a grandparent to a grandchild. Sometimes, you just have to go to a holiday meal and view the interaction around the table (which, in my case, was not always that pleasant when I was growing up). A lot of these patterns are obvious and in the form of alcoholism, addiction, violence, depression, but too often, these patterns run beneath the surface and manifest themselves as shame, guilt, fear, anxiety, blame and other low vibrational frequencies. This is the unfinished business of your ancestors. When the awareness comes to you – when you find the wound that your ancestors passed down – you have a choice; you can view it as a burden and add to your feelings of victimization OR you can view it as a gift that has waited for you to unwrap.
The past few years, I have been working to untangle the generations of Shame that impregnated me at birth. Last summer, my son and I went to my ancestral land, Calabria, Italy. I found beautiful beaches, ancient structures, amazing food, and lots of warm people that looked a lot like me. But that wasn’t the only resemblance; I could sense we carried the same wound of Shame. It manifested itself in different ways that would require another post from me, but suffice to say that even my Spock-like, logical son noticed it. So, this past weekend at my healing retreat, my intention was to look the beast of Shame in its eyes and tackle the wound; not just for me, but for all that came before me and for all that will follow. Remember that time is an illusion and the work we do here and now effects the many time lines.
We are here in this incarnation to correct the patterns caused by past trauma and wounds. The healing from inherited emotional issues, unhealthy patterns or unresolved trauma from your ancestral lineage, releases you and your future generations from the disruptive influences. Your family line has been waiting for you. We are here to honor the past, but not to recreate its negative resonance in the present. Ancestral clearing is based upon the belief that what happened in your family’s past, is actually present and alive today within your CELLULAR BODY and energy field. So, any unresolved conflict from your ancestors, still exists in your energetic grid, which is tied to your DNA. What if I told you that you are here in this incarnation to be a warrior for your lineage? What if I told you were born to correct all the shit that has plagued your ancestors? What if I told you that your family has been waiting for you? What if I told you all the things that you’ve tried to manifest, but couldn’t, were because of this wound? Remember, before Laws of Attraction can work, we need to work with Laws of Vibration. At what frequency does your wound vibrate?
Did I kill this beast of Shame this weekend? No, I didn’t, but the shame has softened. I found it hiding deep in the shadows, looked into its eyes and told it “thank you, I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me.” Because what is a wound? Something that could have healed with love, acknowledgement and/or forgiveness, but it never got that. No matter how ugly, it is part of our who we are and to hate it, only makes the wound deeper. To ignore it, makes a darker shadow. Remember, that which you resist, persists. I’m slowly taking shame out of the shadows into the light of awareness where I can learn from it instead of being ruled by it.
What is your family wound? I would love to hear about it and wish you much luck in healing.