top of page
Search

Self-Betrayal

me0157

Many of us have experienced betrayal in love, friendships, or professional relationships. That feeling of betrayal can sting like a bitch affecting our thoughts, perspectives, and sense of self. Yet, what I find truly intriguing is how often we betray ourselves without even realizing it.

 

Self-betrayal can take many forms. How many times have you stayed in a relationship, knowing deep down it wasn't right for you? How many promises have you made to yourself that you didn’t keep? How often have you put your happiness or dreams on hold to please someone else? How often have you dimmed your light because others couldn't handle your brilliance? And how often have you compromised your values for the sake of something or someone else? Have you ever looked in the mirror and wished you looked like someone else?

 

To recognize how you might be betraying yourself, you need to become aware of the shit you’re telling yourself. Our thoughts can often be a stream of unconscious, critical patterns that goes unnoticed. But what if we instead consciously transformed that voice into that of a lover? Here’s an example:

 

I am about to leave to go to a party, and I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My inner critic starts saying shit like, “You look terrible. You look fat and ugly. I wish I looked like one of those pretty girls.” I don’t even blink from that insult, because, well, I’m used to it. But now, let’s take the same scene, but instead, my husband looks at me and says, “Ali you look awful. I wish you looked like that sexy woman who lives down the block.” OUCH. OMG I am not sure I’d be able to leave the house for the next month. What a betrayal!


If you wouldn't want anyone saying it to you, don't say it to yourself.

 

In the words of Caroline Myss, “If you betray yourself, you are no different from the people who hurt you. What's the difference between those people who hurt you and what you are doing to yourself?”

 

Many of my clients often come to me about feeling hurt or betrayed by those around them. It's easy to blame others for our circumstances, but the reality is that everything starts with us—what we choose to allow and accept in our lives, including our own self-talk. Our thoughts, feelings, and actions shape our personal energy and vibe, which in turn attracts and aligns us with certain people and situations. When you find yourself repeatedly feeling betrayed or hurt, the first step is to take responsibility for your inner state. If you’re constantly betraying yourself, why would you expect anything better from others?

 

Today I ask you to reflect: How have you been betraying yourself?




105 views1 comment

Recent Posts

See All

1 commentaire


jora vess
jora vess
27 juil. 2024

Thank you for this reminder. Why is it so difficult to speak kindly to ourselves? I know it takes a lot of discipline on my part to not slip into negative self-talk.

J'aime
bottom of page