We all know people who trigger us, but worse than that are the people who seem to infect us with their funky-assed, low-vibrational energy and we can’t shake it off. The unfortunate part is that too often these are people we actually love or someone that we can’t easily remove from our life like a parent, sibling, child, relative, boss or co-worker. They don’t have to do or say much, but their energy sticks to you and takes up residence in your energy system.
Let’s start with the idea that we are energetic beings and each of us vibrates at a certain frequency, based on our beliefs, actions, thoughts, and emotions. For those of us who do “the work” we are aware that our frequency fluctuates and our thoughts and emotions are the catalyst for those ups and downs. Each emotion vibrates at a certain frequency, as does each thought. So, as an example, let’s say that your thoughts are going to a memory of a person that has passed and that memory evokes feelings of grief, regret and sadness. Those emotions are lower vibrations and therefore, they make us feel heavy. Literally, you feel as if you’ve gained weight, except it’s your energy system that is holding that weight. The opposite feelings are also true. Let’s say that there has been a birth in the family. The thoughts surrounding this new soul give you a feeling of joy, hope and love. These emotions are high vibrational, so you feel elated and full of light. You literally feel lighter. Got all that?
Ok, now let’s get back to those complicated people in our life (they may be the loveliest person in the world to everyone else, but somehow in your reality, they are complicated). We all have at least one of those people in our lives and they take up a lot of airtime in our head which trigger low-vibrational emotions like anger, vengeance, sadness, regret and frustration. All these heavy thoughts and emotions infect your energetic system and gives you a sense of physical discomfort or heaviness. Maybe the thoughts stop, but you notice that feeling in your body and your mind remembers why your body is feeling that way and your thoughts go back to thinking about that person. It’s a repeating loop. That discomfort/heaviness is literally a virus to your energy system.
If we liken ourselves to a computer, a virus is defined as “a piece of code that is capable of copying itself and typically has a detrimental effect, such as corrupting the system...” So, their energy in your system acts as a virus; a code that fucks with your system. That frequency keeps copying or repeating itself into your mind, chakras and energy bodies. It corrupts your system. Now, your first thought might be to be upset at that person, but the truth is that you allowed it, whether consciously or not. Going back to the idea that we are similar to computers, if you click on a link that ends up being a virus, sure, it’s not your fault, but yet, you did click on the bait and now it’s time to take responsibility. How many times do you take the bait with this person?
So, what’s the answer? First, you need to become aware that for you, that person is energetic clickbait and if you take the bait, you will get infected. Remove blame and judgement and look at it objectively. Most likely, the energy exchanged between the two of you is habitual and that shit happens without conscious consent. But you’re a Lightworker and being unconscious is not who you are! You need to take responsibility for your own well-being and when you have any interaction with that person, you need to consciously say, “ACCESS DENIED.” It sounds simple, doesn’t it? It’s kind of like if you knew someone might have an STD and so you used a condom to protect yourself. If you don’t use the condom, you might get screwed (pun intended lol). Think of “ACCESS DENIED” as your energetic condom. By not using it, you are actually inviting the virus in.
Let’s be clear about something, you can love someone with all your heart, but still deny access. Just like you can be totally attracted to someone, but still use a condom. You know that one of my favorite sayings is, “Be love and light, but have boundaries like a motherf—er.” ACCESS DENIED is not only a boundary, but also a form of love; love for yourself and the people around you, because let’s face it, when you get infected, you infect those around you. And, when you really practice these boundaries, you can eventually heal that complicated relationship.
I want to give you an example, I have a very long and difficult relationship with a family member. Let’s call him Luke. I truly love Luke, but I do not align with many of his actions and beliefs, so he triggers me like you have no idea. Over the years, I have literally gotten myself sick, because of my interactions with Luke. Let’s be clear – I get myself sick because of my reactions to him. I allow that frequency – that virus - to infect my mind and body and worse, I would then infect others around me with my foul energy. Much of that has to do with the guilt, because again, I really love Luke, but sometimes simply being in his presence would negatively affect me. But the guilt is part of the virus. We recently had to spend several days together at a family event and I made myself incredibly anxious just thinking about it, because I was allowing his virus to live in my system. But one day, I suddenly woke up. I could be love and light, but still have strong boundaries. I would not allow his energy access to mine. ACCESS DENIED. Because we have a very long history, much of our energy exchange is habitual and unconscious, therefore, I had to do something to keep those boundaries solid. I literally wrote ACCESS DENIED in black magic marker on the palm of my hand to keep me from taking in that lower frequency. It was my condom. I not only made it through those days with grace and ease, but by taking conscious responsibility, I changed the energy of everything. I was very aware of how much I loved him, but at the same time, I was not allowing his virus into me and I was not infecting everyone with my ugly energy. I felt a sense of freedom that I cannot describe in words. Perhaps it’s like living with a sickness for years and waking up one day and finding out that you are completely healed. I felt lighter, stronger, wiser.
When you cannot control the thoughts and feelings that are the consequence of a relationship, that is because you have allowed access to a virus. That discomfort to your system is to teach you something; but not to corrupt your system. Remember that every relationship is an assignment, but we are not victims and we have the power to protect our well-being. Practice ACCESS DENIED as a conscious and intentional, spiritual force field!!